Rudolph Valentino

…I can pinpoint for yeez almost to the hour when this ol’ Jurassic sashayed from the innocence of youth to the angst-strewn teenage-recognition that GURLS, creatures of the opposite gender, may have sum’thing about them more interesting than pigtails to pull… barely out of short trousers and severe short-back-and-sides haircuts, I became aware of THEM… females… non-football-players… non-collectors-of-frogs-to-stick-in-cleaned-out-jamjars… and certainly not-members-of-our-secret-gangs-with-very-original-codewords-like-‘Geronimo’… of course, at infant school parties, there were the usual ‘Postman’s Knock’ games which often involved being highly embarrassed by getting kissed by a GURL… the ultimate Russian Roulette version of a five-year-old’s boy’s nightmares… imagine then the confusion when it struck home, that a GURL yeez know is taking 100% of yer thinking time… usually chatterbox personified, ye’re reduced to a tongue-chewing babbler when confronting the target of yer youthful fantasies… back then tradition was paramount in such affairs… yeez had to…