My goal with this blog is to offend everyone in the world at least once with my words… so no one has a reason to have a heightened sense of themselves. We are all ignorant, we are all found wanting, we are all bad people sometimes.
I feel like quitting this blog every week. It is a lot of work, I don’t get paid for it, and I am chasing a dream that only I truly believe in. That only I understand.
I get the frustrations from other bloggers and most of my posts are meant as “pushes” to motivate those readers that care to read them. I get discourged easily, as one susceptible to depression I feed off “moments” to push me to the next moment. It is a very human condition and I envy bloggers that continue to push themselves even when they receive little support. I could not imagine still blogging, even for as short as this website has been born, without some type of external motivation. As much as people assume I gain “so much support” from the WordPress community, in truth it is mostly fluff and means nothing. The only person that truly supports my efforts are myself.
My blogging goals are what keep me pushing through to the next day. Without goal marks or expectations I would have grown bored with this platform. I love that I directly impact my numbers and it is the largest thrill for me to see that manipulation directly happen. It is my encouragement and motivation all rolled into one. You will find though that other people won’t understand your goals. They won’t understand your dream and even when you provide proof of accomplishment they will gloss over it. You will have to decide whose opinion means more in these instances.
When I disappear for more than 24 hours it is normally due to me challenging myself not to post, not to respond to comments, and to shut myself completely off. It is near impossible to do and every electronic device I own has some type of connection to my blog. I am always listening to the pulse of my website and that is what helps me to create such a “presence.” It is very hard to deactivate that mentality.
It can become discouraging when you read derogatory posts about your blog, methods of blogging, or even about you in general. That is what you accept upon yourself when you become an audience writer OR powerblogger. I accept that and this is not a whine. Still… it can get old reading the attacks and lies being spread about you. How easy it can be to label someone the enemy.
If you are serious about writing for an audience I wish you the best with it. It can be gratifying, exciting, and completely frustrating. Find a balance and understand that you will go through some of the same growing pains that the rest of us go through. I feel like quitting every week, but I don’t because I won’t allow anyone to push me away from doing something I enjoy.
Screw them, I will keep doing me.